Don't You Forget About Me

So, the LAMMYs are upon us once again. Which can mean only one thing - it's time for me to begin whoring myself for votes. As you might remember when last year strolled around I found myself nominated a whopping five times. I say whopping because when it came down to it I received a rather strong whipping as well. Not so strong as others (still love you Castor), but still - it was enough to earn me one of the two "Denzel Washington Lonely Tear" awards (Fletch/Rachel - feel free to use that if you need a consolation prize this year). Which in and of itself is pretty awesome.

However, it's not quite as awesome as a LAMMY would be. Oh, I could see it now. Sitting gloriously upon my award shelf next to a bunch of dust and my 2nd Place Karate Tournament trophy from that time when I bested nobody and earned 2nd by default (there were only two people in the competition and they had the trophy anyways). Oh, it would be the shining accomplishment of my life. But, alas, me winning one requires your assistance. My fellow LAMBs, you can prevent forest fires and the breaking of a Uni's heart. And if that makes sense to you, all the more reason.

So, when it comes time for you cast your ballot. When you're weighing the best and the brightest against those you like and kind of enjoy. Simply LiE your ass off and nominate and vote Life in Equinox.

Oh, and in case you need a little insight to what I would consider my core categories:

Most Prolific - This will make post #893 in two years
Best Running Feature - Monday Corner or the Obligatory Two-Pack
Brainiac Award - A critical mind is a terrible thing to waste, but I do my best.
Best Movie Reviewer - Because natural talent like mine only comes along once a week!
Best Podcast - The Film Enigma (expect more on this soon)
Funniest Writer - You know you love it when I pull a funny!

and of course - BEST BLOG (because I honestly don't stand a chance in hell of winning it)

VOTE HERE
You can also vote by clicking on my FYC in the right hand bar! Voting is only open to current members of the Large Association of Movie Bloggers.

The Art of the Stache: RDJ Style

look at that clean shave, isn't he so cuuuuute!

When the LAMB calls for people to write/submit posts for an actor, a normal person would writeup a post on films they've done. Analyze their acting prowess, dynamic stature, range, etc. Well, to me, that just sounds boring as hell. So I'm going to talk about something a little more... Uni approved.

For Robert Downey Jr. (obviously best known for his role in Back to School) I'm going off to my own little world: The art of the facial hair, Robert Downey Jr. style (ladies, and men, try to keep your pants on).

Here we go!

The 5 o'clock shadow: Time tested, college student approved. Perfect for that intellectual too busy with problems that need solving. Few people could pull it off quite as well as Robert Downey Jr. It exudes confidence, laziness, and intelligence, all in a nice package. Perfect for Sherlock Holmes.

Also Featured In: Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

The Goatee: Combining that level of douchebag supremacy with a hint of treachery, the Goatee gave Tony Starks that extra bit of allure to make him a believable quasi anti-hero. Add in the RDJ charm and you get a surprisingly non-villainous goatee appearance, with a likable undertone of humanity. Not always the best hero style, but hey, not all pony-tail truckers can be film stars.

Also Featured In: Zodiac (and Iron Man 2)

The Beard: Ah yes, the original facial hair feature. The Beard is the child of the 5 o'clock shadow. With RDJ as the feature it can scream anything you want. For instance a questionably sane news reporter, who ultimately joins a psycho duo on their killing spree. And you thought the film Shaggy Dog was going to be boring. Oh, wait, sorry, that's Natural Born Killers, my bad (close enough).

Also Featured In: The Soloist

Note: As far as I know there was no beard sighting in Shaggy Dog

The Chaplin: In perhaps his finest role, RDJ dawned the facial hair signature of one of cinema's great legends, and absolutely nailed it. Not many could have pulled off that combination: Performance + Mustache. I say, RDJ for your talent and stachery perfection, I salute you!

The Grand Poobah

Call them as you want, all of the aforementioned fail in comparison to this final masterpiece. In 2008 RDJ whipped out a 3-way facial hair combination that shook the world. Men everywhere shaved, in disgust at their inability to conquer such power. Yes ladies and gentlemen I give you the: Mutton Chops + 5 o'clock shadow + Goatee COMBO!

How any film has could have been made since without this diabolic combination of awesomeness, I'll never know! I for one, am eternally grateful to RDJ for sacrificing so much for the betterment of facial hair everywhere.


Thus ends whatever the hell this is.