Thursday, October 6, 2011

Top 5 Quotes Sure to Annoy Your Fellow Movie Bloggers

I write a lot about movie blogging. In fact, you might argue that my blog is more about movie blogging than it is in fact about movies. That's not how I originally envisioned it, but it's a more niche market with great rewards for someone as (annoyingly) analytical as myself. In some rather sick way, you might say I write what I write just to force movie bloggers to think about what they write. Keeping up?

So as I've gone on this journey I've taken the liberty of poking and prodding - for scientific purposes only, I assure you (*cough*) - my fellow bloggers just to see what makes them tick. I've observed their exaggerated reactions to seemingly innocuous remarks about the quality of a film, and have taken all that in and determined it needs to be poked more often. That's right, I believe that if you hammer someone enough with the fact that not everyone agrees with them, they'll eventually catch on. I know, I know, only in my dreams (assuming I dream about blogging).

In such methodology I've come up with the five movie quotes almost guaranteed to get under the skin of movie bloggers. Sure there's some need for contextualizing among the various groups. But I'm pretty sure these are broad enough to cover the majority. Away we go.

"Christopher Nolan's alright, don't get me wrong. But let's just be honest, he's no Paul W.S. Anderson."

Anything that can be construed as not an utter surrender to the greatness that is Christopher Nolan is immediately squashed by the movie blogging collective. Let alone comparing him negatively to one of the most maligned modern blockbuster directors. Besides, I can't be on the only one a bit put off by the fact that Nolan is totally rocking the DiCaprio Titanic hairstyle. Come on, that was so 14 years ago!

"Favorite actor? Oh, man. I'm torn! Definitely either Daniel Day Lewis or Hayden Christensen."

Putting anything related to favorite or great within two Kevin Bacon approved degrees of Hayden Christensen is bound to inspire violent rebuke. Not to mention trying to put him in the same league as one of the finest actors ever to step in front of the camera.

"What Hollywood really needs are more Katherine Heigl romantic comedies."

Do I really need to explain this one?

"Who is Terrence Malick?"

This may sound a bit juvenile but I do get some perverse pleasure out of watching Malick fans go off on a tangent. They've got to be right up there with fanboys raving against negative reviews by critics for exaggeration factor.

"Oh come on! The Dungeons and Dragons films were way better than Lord of the Rings!"

If anyone ever says this to you, you have my permission to make them "disappear." No questions, no courtrooms. For the betterment of the entire human race, everyone would be willing to look the other way.

So there you have it, a few quotes you can whip out at your leisure if you ever feel the need to get under the skin of your fellow bloggers. Besides, it's all in good fun!

16 better thoughts:

Ruth said...

That last one....0.o people really, actually say that!? Eh oh...they better hope they don't meet me in person!

Lesya Hearst said...

lol fun post

I like it.

Brittani Burnham said...

Haha! I love this.

If anyone said that Lord of the Ring quote to me, I'd probably punch them in the face...then make them thank me for it.

Andrew: Encore Entertainment said...

Either I've grown wiser, or I'm not part of the focus group because none of the five annoys. Not even the DDL or LotR ones. Us bloggers are allowed our exaggerated responses to situation, though. Right?

Nikhat said...

Ugh. Katherine Heigl.

My kid brother says Michael Bay is god.

Fun post :)

Univarn said...

@Ruth There's a difference between saying something and believing it :)

@Lesya Glad to be of entertainment.

@Brittani Why not try and come up with a few of your own?

@Andrew Maybe I should have put a snide Jane Austen adaptations remark just for you. Besides, if you didn't balk a little bit at the thought of Hollywood needing more Heigl rom-coms you haven't fully grasped the levity of the situation.

@Nikhat You mean, Michael Bay isn't? :\

Mike Lippert said...

"I do get some perverse pleasure out of watching Malick fans go off on a tangent. They've got to be right up there with fanboys raving against negative reviews by critics for exaggeration factor."

They are kind of like Inception fans.

I have to say, what bothers me most is not someone disagreeing with me, but when ignorant statements are made that stem from the writer not actually knowing what they are talking about. Once of my favourites was when someone said they couldn't understand why Natalie Portman would allow No Strings Attached to come out so close to the Oscars potentially sullying her chances of getting the award fro Black Swan.

Colin Biggs said...

I was listening in a restaurant the other evening and overheard a man say that Christensen makes Vader even better in III, IV, and V.

Anonymous said...

Terrence Malick? Never heard of the guy.

But as a big Malick fan (arguably one of the biggest around these parts), I want to know who these people are who railing against negative reviews of his films. I'm not one of them. Most Malick fans I know realize he's somewhat of an acquired taste.

Nolan is no Richard Kelly, though.

Fat Samurai said...

Colin, you are a better man than I. I would have slaped the taste out of that guys mouth.

Will said...

HAHAHA, I've actually said that Christopher Nolan line at work! I'm the only film snob there, but we still like to make fun of Paul W.S. Anderson. It's so easy.

Tom Clift said...

Terrence Mallick...yawn (#trollingpleasedontkillme)

Anonymous said...

These are hilarious, loved reading this :)

NeverTooEarlyMP said...

Great post. I was right there with you until you started dissing on D&D. :-)

Seriously though, one of the first lessons I learned was that movie bloggers definitely inhabit a slightly different world than the general movie-going public. And that there are certain rules that people aren't allowed to break in that context (unless, like you, they do so knowingly and intentionally.)

Andrew: Encore Entertainment said...

" Besides, if you didn't balk a little bit at the thought of Hollywood needing more Heigl rom-coms you haven't fully grasped the levity of the situation."

Oh I know I haven't. I'm in the camp of one who believes that one day she will prove us wrong and remind us...well me...why I thought she deserved that Emmy she won what seems like a lifetime ago.

(If you'd touch Scorsese I may have felt miffed.)

Anonymous said...

Ahah, that one with Day-Lewis & the guy who played young Anakin is a good one! But hey it could be worse... someone might swap Hayden w/ Taylor Lautner!!

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