Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Obligatory DVD Release Post 5/24/2011


The number one downside of this post is that it's quality is directly proportional to the quality of the films being released. So, for the new releases this week please forgive the indescribable awfulness. For the other goodies, I'm expecting no less than a standing ovation.

New Releases:

I Am Number Four: A supreme taco with a bean burrito, and diet coke. Oh yeah, real badass! You can tell this movie is so BADASS because in the trailer that chick walks away in slow motion from an exploding building - BADASSSSSSSS. And then you've got the guy - HEIL FUHRER BADASS! Honestly, could the guy look more like a '60s WW2 flick Nazi? All he needs is an over pronounced English accent, the ability to repeat SS in a sadistic manner, and a tiny mustache... more on that later. In all seriousness, this movie looks about as stimulating as watching a twelve hour documentary on the making of a twelve hour documentary. On a list of things I'd rather watch than this, even Bieber doing Shakespeare edges it out by a generous mile.

Gnomeo and Juliet: I'll admit, I'm not as well versed in the lyrical stylings of Shakespeare, as I perhaps ought to be. Even still, the concept of this movie pains me as a fan of history and literature twice over. Seriously. Gnomes? Everybody knows you ALWAYS go with leprechauns. Fail.

Other Goodies:

Platoon (Blu-Ray): I am...

Gettysburg (Blu-Ray): most undoubtedly...

Papillon (Blu-Ray): crying tears...

Solaris (Blu-Ray): of joy...

The Great Dictator (Criterion/Blu-Ray): right now... That's it, I'm getting a damn blu-ray player. Time to put on the stilettos and get to work!

Happy hunting everybody!

6 better thoughts:

Castor said...

Yea... nope. No interest in any of those movies. Not much these past few weeks :(

Nikhat said...

I've watched I Am Number Four- classic example of the things you regret watching just because you find someone hot in it...it's really really really bad. But honestly, the action sequences weren't completely hideously loathsome. Just shy of that, which is a BIG thing. And I still award points to it for Timothy Olyphant being there.

Gnomeo and Juliet- *snort*

Alex C. said...

'Solaris' and 'The Great Dictator' get Criterion Blu-Ray releases on the same day? Somebody up there likes me...

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Scary thing - the gnome movie actually sounds better...

Univarn said...

@Castor Nope, not really at all. Kind of depressing.

@Nikhat Glad you took that bullet on behalf of all those who didn't want to :)

@AlexC Somebody up there likes all of us :)

@AlexJ Don't go into the light! Don't go into the light!

5plitreel said...

Didn't that Pettyfer (or something) guy basically get shunned by Hollywood? Too bad the movie sucked, I thought the trailer was promising..

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