Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Obligatory DVD Release Post 5/17/2011

We're getting close, I can feel it. It's in the air. The mood of the world is right. Stallone will do anything for a dime bag of 'roids, and Sesame Street is trapped in a death zone full of cleavage haters. There's no way it can't happen. My years of petitioning can't be far off now. By 2012 we will finally get to see......


*tear* my dream's coming true.

We now return you to your previously scheduled programming

New Releases:

The Mechanic: Excuse me, ummm Mr. Statham. Yes, well. There seems to be a bit of a mixup. Ah, when I asked for a mechanic, I thought I was actually getting a mechanic. Not a meeeeechanic. So, you see, this is a bit awkward. I don't need you to kill my wife. No? Still don't get it? Jesus, some people are thick. Oh! No, nothing. I didn't say a thing! Look, what I'm trying to say is please take the gun away from my wife's head, and we'll just call it even. OK? Good. Thanks. I owe you how much? WHAT!? You didn't even do anything! Consulting fee? Shit... for that price you might as well go ahead. No, no, no, wait!!! Oh, you were just shooting the pipes to get the plumbing to work... thanks! I'm going to go change my pants now.

The Rite: Is there any chance of Anthony Hopkins switching gears half way through this and just yelling out "who's your daddy!?" before going full pimp mode? Without that, I can't imagine myself faking interest in this movie.

The Other Woman: No, not her. The other other woman. Oh, you're still looking the wrong way. Look left. No, that's your right! Jesus you're stupid. No, she's gone now. Forget it, next time I'm just sticking to good ol' fashion nautical directions. Hey! Check out the babe two fathoms up and a fathom to the right!

The Roommate: This is either a non-descriptive horror movie or just an off the wall observation. I'm hoping for the latter.

Vanishing on 7th Street: Why I moved up to 3rd street - whole lot less vanishing going on here. Plus, better pizza.

Other Goodies:

Diabolique: I hate to say this, but when I first watched Diabolique, I didn't think much of it. Perhaps it was because it was years ago, or perhaps it was because I just don't dig what it did/does. Either way, I foresee many a 'watch it again!' gripes if I never do in the future.

The Hustler: Paul Newman... the man just had skill. End of debate.

Alright ladies and gents, that about wraps up another thrilling installment of the Obligatory DVD Release Post. Tip your waiters, flip your flapjacks, and be sure to have a joyful dvd hunting experience!

3 better thoughts:

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

The Mechanic wasn't original, but it was decent. Better than Vanishing!

Red said...

I still need to see Diabolique. Just add it to the list of 58,474,984,393 other movies that I REALLY need/want to watch.

Castor said...

Yea nothing peaking my interest. The Mechanic sounds like a movie you can watch on FX on a Sunday evening when there is absolutely nothing else on cable.

Related Posts with Thumbnails