Saturday, February 19, 2011

Greatest Commercial Ever

When I arrived on Twitter last night, I had no idea that I would be witnessing a moment in history like none before it. That me, just a man like you - assuming you're a man (statistical probability) - would be privy to see what is without a doubt that single greatest trailer to ever be created. Apollo 18, my how you have changed the way I view the world. No longer do I believe that commercials are just a means through which marginally talented people redundantly produce the same byproduct over and over again the hope of selling what is essentially just an extended remake of its own commercial. NO! I have seen the light.

The way you open, surrendering yourself to "unconfirmed intelligence" (aka not intelligence. Me claiming a dildo can cure you of nepotism is technically "unconfirmed intelligence" just like it's "unconfirmed stupidity") inspires me to want to be a better man. The depth to which you managed to not alter or change the videos in any way (seriously, we happen to stumble upon these videos from the moon already edited for theatrical release!) brings tears to my eyes. Then, just the thought that you braved the harsh and violent world of the Moon to present us with these untarnished videos... I could cry (while I'm still trying to figure out how you managed to get never before seen videos currently existing on the moon about why we never went back if you didn't, in fact, go back - major points to Nathan Donarum for that astute observation).

Finally, the film I've been asking for for all my life. Paranormal Activity meets Blair Witch on the moon (please god have Sam Rockwell make a cameo, it's the only way this movie won't be crap personified).


1 better thoughts:

Castor said...

This looks terribly amateurish but then, this is not my kind of movie. I haven't seen even seen The Blair Witch Project or Paranormal Activities yet.

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