Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Obligatory DVD Release Post 11/9/2010

I've often dreamed about having telepathy.Yet, how would one gain such an immense power? Well ladies and gentlemen, allow me to educate you:

In order to gain telepathy all one must do is this: become a plant. Did I lose you? No problem I can explain: In order to fully understand, and foresee, the thoughts of any human you must not be human. Even more so you must be as far from human as possible, ecologically speaking, while still maintaining a living entity. Now you may be saying to yourself, but Uni plant's don't have brains, how could they read my mind?

Well, plant's don't have physical brains, true, but they have something all the more powerful: Oxygen. What does your brain need to work? Oxygen. What is one of its highest suppliers? Plants. Plant sends out Oxygen, goes into your Brain. You breath out CO2, plant take CO2, siphons out the carbon, i.e. your thoughts, and gives back the Oxygen. Therefore, you don't need to speak in order for the plant to know what you're thinking. Hence telepathy.

And you thought I hadn't thought this through, BOOYAH! (to be honest I really just made that up on the fly and am hoping it makes one lick of sense for comedic affect)

New Releases:

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World: Unfortunately for this film there are two real downsides to its title:
1. The implication that Scott Pilgrim is fighting the world, and therefore all its inhabitants, therefore the audience. People don't want to go to a movie to fight, well some do but they're called jerks and we let them be.
2. It's immediate association with The People vs. Larry Flint. Let's be honest, while both may be fine movies, you definitely don't want to walk into one anticipating the other. Two very different beasts. To combine them could only mean total, universal, destruction.

Grown Ups: There's a certain charm in laughing at four middle age men try and desperately cling on to their careers. No I'm not talking about the characters, rather the actors. Adam Sandler's getting ready to finally outage his caricature. David Spade did so 10 years ago. Chris Rock seems out of new ideas. Leaving Kevin James as the only actor in the film with anything on the up and up. Doesn't mean I think his films are any good, I just think he's got more in the tank than the rest. But let's be honest, if you watched this commercial for this film and thought "hey, that looks hilarious," you're most likely not the type of people I'm going to converse with on a daily basis outside any work obligations.

Charlie St. Cloud: Sorry Efron, they can't all be winners. Then again, did you really read the script for this film and think it would be? Here's a piece of advice: Ghost children never works in drama. They're either there to possess you or scare the hell out of you. That's all their allowed to do. Anything more than that and you're just trying to be melodramatic... and we reserve that for daytime soaps.

Love Ranch: Members of the LiE reading public, I'd like to make a nomination. In the category of worst DVD Covers I give you Love Ranch:
First off - what is up with that shockingly fake looking cigar which seems to be levitating about a quarter of an inch from Joe Pesci's mouth? Secondly, what does it have against Sergio Peris-Mencheta that it feels the need to attack his hair and cheek? Love yah Joe Pesci, but I think we can all agree this one may smell strong, but it's definitely not roses.

Other Releases: Ramona & Beezus, The Dry Land, Jean-Michel Basquiat: Radiant Child

Other Goodies:

The Elia Kazan Collection: Fifteen Kazan films with an additional documentary on Elia Kazan presented by Martin Scorcese.... excuse me, I believe a change of pants is in order. I have to be honest when I say I'm pretty psyched for this one. Oh, it'll definitely be finding its way onto the Christmas wish list.

Westworld: I've heard a lot about this film but haven't seen it, perhaps I'll give it a go after all.

Ocean's 11 (50th Anniversary Blu-Ray): The original Rat Pack version is back for your viewing pleasure with Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr., Peter Lawford, and Angie Dickson. All is fair in love and Danny Ocean.

There's a lot of things listed as "new" dvd releases for films I know are already on DVD because I own them so I'll not bother including them here. There is another Mystery Science Theater collection out there for those dedicated many who must own them all.

Have fun and happy hunting!

9 better thoughts:

Paul Arrand Rodgers said...

I'm guessing you didn't see Scott Pilgrim. You should. And fast.

Castor said...

I wanted to see Scott Pilgrim in theater but ended up not going. Glad it made it to DVD that fast! And no, I don't want to become a plant ;)

TheAnswerMVP2001 said...

Westworld is... ehhh. Good in some parts, boring in a lot of others. Supposedly it's going to get remade and Russell Crowe is rumored to be in it. Western + Russell Crowe = Amazing

Anonymous said...

Wow, Scott Pilgrim is out already? Seems like not that long ago it was in the theaters. I might rent that one just out of curiosity.

Ugh, that Love Ranch poster has got to be the WORST ever... I can't even begin to point out how bad it is!

Simon said...

Scott Pilgrim yay!

Everything else...good effort.

Andrew: Encore Entertainment said...

Yes, definitely see Scott Pilgrim one of the best I've seen this year...although it's probable that I've not seen much.

Univarn said...

@Paul I'll have a review up for it tomorrow.

@Castor I ended up in the same boat, we'll see how it all pans out.

@AnswerMVP We'll agree to disagree about The Quick and the Dead.

@Flixchatter If you want to see some of the worst posters ever head on over to The Great White Dope's blog (I linked to his blog in the Monday Corner yesterday).

@Simon I'm not sure Grown Ups counts as a good effort.

@Andrew This is one of the rare years where my seen to review ration is less than 1. There's been so many films I've watched and just not bothered to review because they were that awful.

Andrew: Encore Entertainment said...

@ Univarn I get you. It's like: why waste the ink on this piece of crap when I spend time trying to write a review of a film actually worth my time.

Heather said...

Aside from Scotty Pilgrim I could give two hoots about Grown Ups or Charlie whats up my butt. Frankly I'd rather just re-rent Predators which was only an okay movie, though at least entertaining.

And Univarn......I IMPLORE YOU.........watch WESTWORLD. Whether you love, or hate, it's a necessary watch.

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