Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Obligatory DVD Release Post 10/05/2010


Note to self: Never get into a slapping contest with a chimpanzee over lollipops. Not only do you lose the lollipop, but you must also endure the shame of having been pimp slapped by a chimpanzee. Upside - envisioning a chimpanzee wearing a large fur coat and drive a Cadillac almost makes it worth the effort. Though perhaps a bit cruel....


New Releases:

Nightmare on Elm Street:  If I've said it once, I've said it at least once (like what I did there? no, well fine, be that way!), the only thing scarier than Freddy Kruger in your dreams is him on a dancing show. Though I should be honest, if I was to see Kruger do the Waltz I might change my mind. Perhaps Dancing with the Stars should change its name to Dancing with the Cinematic Killers. Wouldn't you love Freddy vs. Jason 2: The Streets? Freddy break dancing while Jason throws down a mad step routine. It could work! Hollywood, you're very welcome.

The Karate Kid: To me, KK was the surprise hit of the summer. Making (roughly) $176m domestic, and over $350m worldwide (on a budget of $40m = score!), I'm definitely putting this on my DVD potential list. I would be remiss if I didn't point out that I'm still not ready to accept Jaden Smith as a viable star. Personally, until he moves in with his big judge relative, sports bright clothing, gets a dimwitted DJ as a friend, and a series of cheesy rap routines, I'll never accept him as a real Smith. Sorry kid, I know it's not your fault, sometimes you just have to live up to the name you were born with. Now get out there and make something catchy out of the word Jiggy! We believe in you.

Splice: After dissecting the word carefully I've decided Splice comes from the ever dangerous Spotted Lice. Which leads me to the only logical plot synopsis for this film: It's about an invasion of killer spotted lice, splice (*wink*), seeking to take over the world as we know it. The only person who can stop them is a renegade doctor who uses the power of the sexy nose to take control of them. Adrien Brody, deliver us from evil! Sarah Polly, keep being awesome. Everyone else involved... who are you again? I kid I kid, that's mean, and I would never say that to their face. That's way too mean.

Other Releases: The Secret of Kells (My Review), The Human Centipede (Oh joy), Elvis and Anabelle, Oxford Murders

Other Goodies:

The Exorcist (Director's Cut - Blu-Ray): Max von Sydow, I rest my case!

Humphrey Bogart: The Essential Collection: Everything from his classical hits like Treasure of the Sierra Madre and Casablanca to his lesser known films, this collection has 24 awesome Bogart films. And for $80 bucks, even I'd be hard pressed not to fork it over (despite the fact that I have almost no money) for all that! I just hope that the quality of them match, and it's not one of those eh collections of mediocre prints.

The Adventures of Robin Hood: So Errol Flynn, we meet again! One of these days I shall watch you, I promise. Just not know.... I've got a lot of Bogart to catch up with!!!!!!!!!!!


Happy hunting everyone!

15 better thoughts:

The Mad Hatter said...

Not to be contrarian, but I'd recommend SPLICE of all this week's new releases. I still think it rocked.

Will said...

The theatrical Grindhouse comes out today also.

snobbyfilmguy said...

I'm actually wearing my Freddie sweater while reading this in anticipation of Halloween! I've yet to see Splice but I've heard ALOT of great things so I'll be checking it out instead of rewatching Nightmare...

Heather said...

I was just going to consult my tele to see if there was anything worth checking out. Nightmare and Splice are at the top of my list. Today being my day off and me being sick per the usual I think lazy movie watching is in my future.

And to what perverse reasoning can I owe my desire to see Prince Of Persia? My hubby continues to tell me to just watch it, but I refuse, stuck in a fuck team Jacob and Edward, I want Lestat moment.

SugaryCynic said...

SECRET OF KELLS! I have been waiting inhumanly long for this movie. Also I would definitely watch Freddie vs. Jason: The Streets, especially if one of them murdered Channing Tatum. Also I have very little desire to see Splice after finding out Adrien Brody tries to put his dick in it >_<

Castor said...

Sort of want to see The Karate Kid since it got pretty decent reviews, going against my expectations. Splice is the one I look most forward to.

Univarn said...

@Mad Lies, you love being contrarian, admit it!

@Will Good to know, that might be worth a rental

@snobby I've heard a lot of Splice, mostly in the HOLY *#!@ did that just happen range!? Not sure it's my cup of tea, but we shall see.

@Heather I thought Prince of Persia was pretty bad, but a sight better than Clash of the Titans.

@Sugary Oh, only in dreams would that occur. Tatum's a bit too busy working on his next facial expression to take new roles I hear. Next up: pouty.

@Castor I'll have a review up for KK Thursday (I think) so perhaps that'll sway you.

Kaiderman said...

I was toying with Nightmare but am going to see Splice tonite. My advice to you=WATCH THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE!!!

Simon said...

IGETTOSEESECRETOFKELLSHAZZAH!

Univarn said...

@Kaiderman Never! I shall not succumb to your advice!

@Simon Be careful, you don't want your comment to be confused with HEZBOLLAH.

Simon said...

Or do I?

(what's HEZBOLLAH?)

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Karate Kid's going into my NetFlix queue. Splice was good, but not one I'll ever watch again.

Danny King said...

I'm with The Mad Hatter on "Splice." Worth-seeing, and I wouldn't mind watching it again if I weren't so busy.

Univarn said...

@Simon Google was invented for a reason :P

@AlexJ Interested to see your take on it.

@Danny I really have no desire to see Splice, but I'm sure I will at some point.

Simon said...

Yeah, but it's also kind of evil, and you're right here.

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