What is a Univarn - An LiE Anniversary Special!

I would like to begin by pointing out that whoever made the above picture is my hero.

Well ladies and gents you voted for it, and as today is the 1 year anniversary of A Life in Equinox, here it is: the story behind UNIVARN


Backstory
Before I begin I figured a bit of back story would suffice in explaining why I opted for such a name. When I first came into the online realm back in 2003 with the release of Call of Duty I needed a handle. A way of identifying myself in the online realm. So, I invariably, and uncreatively, opted for the title: Ryanator43567. Having just watched Terminator I adopted the -ator onto my own name, and threw in 43567 (which is my last name spelled out on a telephone). As I grew older this name became more annoying, and I therefore began a time in which my name was constantly changing: I was Invisioned, TheLastChicken, Requiem, and to be quite honest I don't even remember all the handles I went by.

I'll be frank when I say I hated most of the names I went by.

Creating Univarn
What I found most annoying was that no matter where I went whatever handle I went by was eventually adopted by someone else. And due to my word selection was immediately associated with something people were familiar with. I went by Chicken because I thought it was funny, not because I am, in social colloquium, a chicken (to be fair though I may very well be). No, I was annoyed by this. I needed something unique. Something that identified me, and represented me.

So, I began my search. I thought of using old Gaelic names, or perhaps something of a the Latin variety, but nothing appeased me. It always sounded boring to me. Especially in the case of their associative meanings. No, I wanted something a bit different. Perhaps, my own word. Ah, yes, there we go. A word nobody has ever used before, and nobody but me ever will. One that is completely meaningless, and can only be used in association with me. But how? It's not easing coming up with a word that's out of the blue, and justifiably pronounceable.

So, here is where the journey begins. Oh, and if you lot keep asking me if Univarn is a combination of UNITY and VARNISH I'm going to throw a tantrum. Why the hell would I name myself after that? Give me some credit!

No, Univarn has nothing to do with either of the above despite containing letters from both of them (it also shares letters with University and Barn but nobody went there either). No, its creation I'm afraid to admit is a bit more straight forward. As I sat around debating a name I had what I can only describe as a Pontypool moment (minus the whole turning into a Zombie thing afterwords) and the sound Uni got stuck into my head.

Sitting there, repeating this word over and over again I tried adding suffixes to make it sit well, but it never did. Yet I was sure it was something I wanted to use. I just enjoyed the ring of it. Sounded cheerful, but also different. But after days of wondering about it I could not find an ending I found suitable (not to mention the number of times I kept reminding myself Unicorn was already a word). No, it wouldn't be until I sat in front of my computer and just kept typing endings that I finally, and with great relief, typed the ending -varn onto the end of my Uni.

Sitting there, I found something appealing about it. But it sounded too much like a word. It had to be one! Quick, Google check. Nothing. There was a company named Univar, but that's different. And a few efforts by google to siphon out the word came up with a variety of uni and varnish related things, but no Univarn. Eureka! I found it.

Pronunciation
I know this is a hot topic, but seeing as it's my own word I think I have the right to tell people how to pronounce it. Especially as people have a bad habit of adding syllables, and noises, that aren't there (how people keep trying to say Un-e-vern is well beyond me). No, the reason people assume it's from some random concoction of Unity and Varnish is because it is pronounced EXACTLY as the two subsections of those words. Uni is pronounced in the manner you would in unity and Varn is pronounced in the manner you would varnish. Please keep that in mind will yah?

Meaning
I've already said this, but I'll say it anyways: Univarn is meaningless. When you say Univarn you're not talking about your hair, a mythical creature (debatable), or what you were doing. It's simply a reference to me. Is that a bit self-centered, and self-gratifying? Yes, I'll admit it. But it comes with a great relief that when you say Univarn I know 100% you're talking about, or to, me. At the same time I also have the upper-hand of mystery (something I found as a very useful distraction during my Poker days). People love to try and find out what Univarn is. But it's meaningless stature gives me the advantage of telling them whatever I want.

I've had more fun with telling people false stories about the creation of Univarn than you can imagine. Some far more wildly concocted than others I'll admit (at one time I believe I told someone it came to me in a vision - but that would be weird). Oh, those were the days. Of course, you could be asking yourself, how do I know what you told me now is the truth of Univarn's origin and meaning?

I'll simply say: you can't. Whether or not I'm telling the truth is for my knowledge only...