Sunday, December 6, 2009

2012 (2009)

*Kids back away from the camera, very slowly

2012
DIRECTED BY: ROLAND EMMERICH
WRITTEN BY: ROLAND EMMERICH & HARALD KLOSER
OVERALL SCORE: 5.25/10


A scientist, writer/limo-driver, and international governments deal with recent knowledge of an impending global disaster.

I'll admit, it's been years since I've laughed as hard as I did during this film. I mean everything was just so insanely over the top unbelievable I was almost in tears I couldn't stop laughing so much. Who knew John Cusack could outrun an airplane or drive through buildings? The number of flashbacks I had to the film Deep Impact was almost uncanny... of course that is almost negated by the fact that Emmerich lets us know pretty early on: "direct? I'm just here to blow stuff up!" He's so excited for it he spends 40 minutes building up anticipation for all the things he's going to destroy. It's like someone standing in front of the camera holding a "wait for it" sign.

Of course when it comes to acting I'm not sure anyone does. Sure I love Cusack and Ejiofor, but to be honest I don't know how they kept themselves from busting out laughing during most of their lines. Then of course the rest of the cast ranges from mediocre to laughably bad, and back again (just for safe keeping). Oliver Platt's character shouldn't have even be given a name, they should have just called him: Secretary of Evil Government Men. With Danny Glover's character name being changed to President Captain Ship Prayer! Though I found it amusing that Emmerich made it a duty of his to kill off anyone who dares pray during his film.

Two things I learned from watching 2012: 1) Never Pray and 2) Never leave Africa out of your save the rich people plan. If you do, it'll end badly for you. Of course being a standard character doesn't bode well for you either (sorry obligatory Indian guy). The film's attempt at morality is overshadowed of course by its desire to ignore drama in favor of action. Oh what, he may dead? OOOOOOOOOO EXPLOSION! Even then though I don't know if there's anything necessarily worth ranting about with 2012. It's what you'd expect: big, dumb, full of explosions, and nonsense. Though of course the movie did bring me back to the days of childhood where physics was just a word, and action was the only thing a film really needed.

Oh, and by the way. Someone should count the number of buildings the characters had to go through... I wonder if Emmerich was making some sort of anti-skyscraper statement?

*water? where the hell is the exit from this picture?

Despite being amusing for its sheer over the top stupidity, 2012 is one of the movies you'll spend more time laughing at than ever laughing with.

3 better thoughts:

TheAnswerMVP2001 said...

I believe Michael Phillips loved this film, I tend to side more with AO Scott. Also you seem to be having some issues with your picture on the bottom, it's not showing up.

Lemmy Caution said...

Watched this yesterday....and it held my interest for the first 90 minuets or so (and by held my interest I mean, made me laugh at the amount of silly cliches they could crowbar in).

By the time the White House was wiped out and the plot moved toward the spaceship/ark things...it seriously just fell apart. Suddenly it was like Titanic with lots of water and people falling overboard and such.

Where the first half felt like it was in on the joke....the latter half tried to come across way too serious (while still trying to be funny with the dog and all).

Breezy way to spend a Sunday, but nothing I will be watching again.

Alfindeol said...

I was hoping for a little more Battlestar Galactica at the end and a little less Out of Africa...

The movie is laugh out loud funny. I actually may have lucked out seeing it in Korea. There were no English subtitles so I was spared about 10% of the crappy dialog and story.

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