Friday, November 6, 2009

Obligatory Weekend Movie Post #8

Ah yes ladies and gents, it's friday, you're making your weekend plans, you're relaxing and getting ready for the upcoming holidays. Perhaps you're planning a Christmas/Thanksgiving getaway, or just looking to getaway, well as you plan your lovely movie watching weekend I'm here to help guide you on your journey with my film recommendations for the weekend. Ehhh, screw it, let's just make fun of movies! Oh, and umm if I saw something smart let me know, it wasn't intentional I swear!

Wide Releases:

A Christmas Carol: November, there's snow on the ground (in the North), Christmas trees out for sale (already?), Christmas songs on the radio (why?), and everyone's getting ready for that special time of the year... Thanksgiving? Ah yes, Halloween's over, so as you can imagine the marketing world is getting out their special panties because it's time for Christmas corruption marketing! It's the season of giving and you can give for only $9.95!!! Ugh, oh and Jim Carrey, George C. Scott owns you as Scrooge, don't even bother trying though I'm sure you'll be funny.

The Fourth Kind: At first I thought this might seem like a sequel to Close Encounters of the Third Kind, but then you'll realize it's only a crappy marketing ploy film designed to wet the appetite of the people who spend heir days staring at circular clouds convinced aliens are hiding in them. Well everyone, the truth is the aliens are out there, and when you go to sleep tonight, they're going to get you!!!! *Note: If you believe that seek out psychiatric help now.

The Box: OMG THE BOX EVERYONE RUNNNNNNNNN! Oh? It's not that kind of box? Is it a jack in the box? Perhaps a magic box? What? A button in the box? What the hell kind of box is that? That's got to be the least interesting box of all time. Oh, you get money if you push the button but someone in the world dies? Man, that puts a whole new spin on don't push my button.

The Men Who Stare at Goats: You know when I thought of joining the army out of high school there was infantry, technical adviser, even officer training, somehow I missed on the form where it put "jedi warrior." Now, I ended up not going into the army and just going to college, but had jedi warrior been an option you can guarantee my ass would be in the army right now, and I'd be right next to Clooney starring them goats down. Oh, and I plan on seeing the movie this weekend (hopefully).

Limited Releases:

Precious: Based on the 'Novel' by Sapphire -
I'm not sure what to make of this film. If you read some critics blogs they love the performances but hated the directing, if you talk to anyone close to the film they call the director the film's real hero. Which is it? I'll catch this come awards time, but to be honest I'm putting this in my disgruntled I don't know box.

La Danse, Splinterheads, & That Evening Sun: I've heard nothing about you as films and the fact that you're only opening in one theater leads me to only one conclusion: There's only 50+ people who want to see you and they all live in the same area.


Well that just about wraps it up. I think this weeks post was rather good... which I've been finding means only 1 of you (Dezmond) will comment, and he'll probably point out he's looking forward to all these films. Now if this was an exceptionally bad post, like last weeks, I'd probably get 5-6 comments all discussing various things in my post. Hmmm, I wonder why that is? OH MY GOD THE BOX IS RIGHT BEHIND YOU!!!! Did you look? No? Ah, well that's good. Killer boxes can be scary though to be honest my cat would probably just get inside and play with it and push the button any damned ways.

We done.

5 better thoughts:

Lemmy Caution said...

Going to try to get out to see Men Who Stare at Goats as well. Trailer is really funny. Good cast, good story idea.....should be a home run.

Zach said...

I'm interested in seeing Men Who Stare At Goats. I will probably see A Christmas Carol (yet another version) just cause I feel obligated to see it, and I wouldn't mind getting into the holiday mood soon. Fourth Kind will probably be terrible.
I've heard a lot about That Evening Sun, and it sounds awesome, the trailer is very good too.

Andrew: Encore Entertainment said...

Clooney aside I really want to see The Men Who Stare at goats, and I hope it does well.

Chase Kahn said...

It's 80 degrees here in Dallas -- I'm in no mood to see "A Christmas Carol". I need a chill in the air, the smell of chimneys burning, not sweat.

"The Men Who Stare at Goats" is actually quite bad, I was surprised.

Univarn said...

Thanks for all your comments!

@Zack that obligation you feel that's the marketing world telling you have to spend money in order to get into the holiday mood. You could watch one of 10 other versions (all probably far better) of A Christmas Carol on TV or online anytime you like, and for free at that.

@Andrew and Lemmy: Good, shall be interested to hear what you all have to say.

@Chase You're not in the minority on that one. I've read lots of mixed reviews for it, yet I've not read anything that makes me not want to see it. Alas we'll see how it goes and I'll post my review probably Sunday.

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