Dungeons & Dragons
In all honesty, there’s no excuse. I was simultaneously going through a Wayans Bros. phase (post Scary Movie, pre Scary Movie 2) and a Fantasy phase at the same time (LOTR and Harry Potter brought out the fantasy fanatic in me hardcore), and it had Jeremy Irons who I thought was kind of cool, and then there was the table game which all my friends were into… I’m sorry.
This movie is really the undisputed King of craptastic cinema. It’s got more plot holes than an Uwe Boll fantasy epic and more anachronisms than a Sophia Coppola history piece. Not to mention overacting on a level that makes Soap Opera stars go “damn.” Then there’s the story, so ludicrous Klingdons left the world of Star Trek, traveled through a wormhole into the real dimension, all just in an effort to protest the film. Hell yeah, this movie is awesome!
In the most basic context, this movie exists for 11 year olds who like to believe they’re ‘too old’ for Toy Story, but not old enough to deal with proper violence yet. Admittedly, the presence of the late, great Phil Hartman goes a long ways in keeping this movie fond in my memories. That and a young Kristen Dunst was a sight for sore eyes for a coming of age pre-teen male.
Look, when I was a kid Batman and Batman Returns scared the living hell out of me. So what was a child in desperate need of a superhero to do? Sit around and just wait for screenplay writers to come up with a more friendly kid version? Nope, you latch on to the closest thing around... it's not my fault this cheese mania of a journey was all Hollywood had to offer! Alright, so I did go full green and golden cane one year and dress up as The Riddler for Halloween - admittedly a pudgy Riddler - but I did win a Halloween dress up competition at school, so that has to count for something, right?
If you don’t understand then you obviously didn’t grow up in the early ‘90s. If you grew up in the early ‘90s and still don’t understand, then you obviously lived a very deprived childhood. Between this and the Three Ninjas series, my childhood was racked with over the top faux Asian influence of increasing awfulness… which may go to explaining more about my taste these days then I’m ever likely to fully realize.
So there you have it, some of the worst movies I ever dug (and I might argue a couple I still do - just sayin'). Hope you've enjoyed these 2 years here, as I know I have, and I'm quite looking forward to 2 more (though I'm not sure if I have another 1000 posts in me!).