Cannes Jury: Almodóvar, Chastain, Fan Bingbing, and more... - The complete jury for the 70th annual Cannes Film Festival has been announced. As previously noted, Pedro Almodóvar will preside over the jury. To celebr...
Friday, May 20, 2011
You know, it's times like these we learn to love again... It's times like these we learn to live again... or something like that. It sounds better when a proper band is singing. Even better if I organize the lyrics into the correct order. On the plus side, I did save money on my car insurance last year by not getting a ticket and staying with the company I've always been with. Suck on that television marketing!
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides: Stranger Tides? As opposed to what exactly? Those Tides that you know rather well from the golf club where you two play on Sunday? Sure, I know about High and Low tides. We've met. However, I'm not sure I'd say we were buddy buddy. I mean, I like them. I just don't like them like them. Know what I mean? And to be honest, they can be a bit turbulent to know as is. I can't even begin to imagine what it would be like when you start dealing with their lesser known cousins. Always cast aside in the limelight. In fairness, Johnny Depp and Penelope Cruz, if someone were to run at me with that much mascara on, I can't say I'd be the most cordial either. And you took along Geoffrey Rush? What did you expect? That guy is bonkers!
Midnight in Paris: Woody Allen - check. Rachel McAdams - check. Marion Cotillard - check. Owen Wilson - ch... che... achooooo. Crap, happens to me every time. Especially lately. Woody Allen makes another film, I get all excited, and then he features a star I have an allergic reaction to. Now I don't mean to sound all mean and cynical (yes I do), but something about Owen Wilson just makes me want to throw an angry kitten at him. De-clawed of course, I'm not a Bond villain (or am I? I am hurting kittens by ripping their claws out after all). The most important thing to take away from this is (Uni's subconscious should not be allowed out in public) I probably will see this... one day... on DVD (while crying and eating a bucket of ice cream - *girl power*)... along with many of the other Woody Allen movies (the crappy ones) I've avoided due to my (disgust) disinterest with his leading stars.
In the honorable words of Porky the Pig, that's all folks.
Public Service Announcement: No women were impregnated by Arnold Schwarzenegger during the making of this post. Although Liam Neeson did impregnate the entire female population of Long Beach.