Friday, May 20, 2011

Obligatory Weekend Movie Post 5/20/2011


You know, it's times like these we learn to love again... It's times like these we learn to live again... or something like that. It sounds better when a proper band is singing. Even better if I organize the lyrics into the correct order. On the plus side, I did save money on my car insurance last year by not getting a ticket and staying with the company I've always been with. Suck on that television marketing!

Wide Release:

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides: Stranger Tides? As opposed to what exactly? Those Tides that you know rather well from the golf club where you two play on Sunday? Sure, I know about High and Low tides. We've met. However, I'm not sure I'd say we were buddy buddy. I mean, I like them. I just don't like them like them. Know what I mean? And to be honest, they can be a bit turbulent to know as is. I can't even begin to imagine what it would be like when you start dealing with their lesser known cousins. Always cast aside in the limelight. In fairness, Johnny Depp and Penelope Cruz, if someone were to run at me with that much mascara on, I can't say I'd be the most cordial either. And you took along Geoffrey Rush? What did you expect? That guy is bonkers!

Limited Releases:

Midnight in Paris: Woody Allen - check. Rachel McAdams - check. Marion Cotillard - check. Owen Wilson - ch... che... achooooo. Crap, happens to me every time. Especially lately. Woody Allen makes another film, I get all excited, and then he features a star I have an allergic reaction to. Now I don't mean to sound all mean and cynical (yes I do), but something about Owen Wilson just makes me want to throw an angry kitten at him. De-clawed of course, I'm not a Bond villain (or am I? I am hurting kittens by ripping their claws out after all). The most important thing to take away from this is (Uni's subconscious should not be allowed out in public) I probably will see this... one day... on DVD (while crying and eating a bucket of ice cream - *girl power*)... along with many of the other Woody Allen movies (the crappy ones) I've avoided due to my (disgust) disinterest with his leading stars.

In the honorable words of Porky the Pig, that's all folks.

Public Service Announcement: No women were impregnated by Arnold Schwarzenegger during the making of this post. Although Liam Neeson did impregnate the entire female population of Long Beach.

7 better thoughts:

Nikhat said...

I'm kind of still looking forward to both Pirates and Midnight in Paris, but yes...I don't understand the Owen Wilson casting either. Still, there are also Adrien Brody, Michael Sheen and Carla Bruni present, so I'm a bit excited.

Love the PSA... glad to know.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I'm curious if the movie will feature any resemblence to the book, On Stranger Tides by Tim Powers. It is supposed to!

Castor said...

Owen Wilson is said to be perfectly acceptable in Midnight in Paris. I'm almost scared of having too high expectations given all the hype and 91% RT score. I will definitely check it out next weekend when it comes to Minneapolis.

Lesya Khyzhnyak said...

Going to see Pirates tomorrow. And will be very happy to see Midnight in Paris when its on general release.

Simon said...

I'd like to take this loosely-connected opportunity to reiterate my philisophy on life: Fuck Celebrity. Fuck. That. Noise.

And did Penelope Cruz and Johnny Depp have to reunite on such dire a project? She turned down Melancholia, guy.

Univarn said...

@Nikhat I'm always here to educate.

@AlexJ Saw your tweet about it. I may see it, but in no great hurry.

@Castor I don't hate Owen Wilson, I just can't see myself championing him with any great urgency for roles.

@Lesya You and your optimism.

@Simon You know, no post is complete until you comment on it. In fact, I think it's rather similar to the whole tree in a forest scenario...

Simon said...

Cool?

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