[3.50/10] The Chamber (2017) - *The Chamber (2017)* *Quick Review:* Funnily, this cheap underwater flick self-proclaims itself as 'a claustrophobic survival thriller', which it certainl...
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Pack it in boys, nothing to see here.
The Green Hornet: You know your DVD release post is going to struggle when this is the headliner. You know it's going to struggle even more when you have absolutely nothing witty to say about it. I could of course go with the whole "back so soon" spin, mocking its short run time and limited box office power, but that seems gimmicky at best. So I'll settle for outright snobbery: This movie looks stupid. Now, give me a few minutes while I go watch it.
The Dilemma: Ron Ron Ron... oh Ronny Boy. Why did you try? Honestly... why? You were on a roll with the high minded drama actions. Was it that Da Vinci Code wasn't that great? Meh, we all knew that was going to happen. Was it that people like to belittle Frost/Nixon? Those are the same people who spend their nights debating how much they love movies nobody cares about to make themselves feel better. It couldn't have been Angels and Demons - Ewan McGregor was the shit. What in the world made you think: "Hey, Splash was awesome - I'll try my hand at another romantic comedy." Nobody wanted that! Not even Darryl Hannah and she could use it. Please, just stick to what you do best - making mountains out of ant hills.
Other Releases: The Promise: The Making of Darkness On the Edge of Town (never heard of it) and From Prada to Nada (kill me please)
Twelve O'Clock High (Blu-Ray): Gregory Peck in one of the absolute most criminally under seen war films of all time. Seriously, go check it out - it's absolute mint. Very much the epitome of the human war film.
What Dreams May Come (Blu-Ray): I think this movie gets a bad wrap, but I must admit I enjoy its style. Something about it just seems transcendent to me in a rather hyperbolic allure. Call me crazy, but I've seen this a few times and it still holds water for me. Now if only they could drop Cuba Gooding and make the entire movie about Max Von Sydow and this one would be brilliant!
From Dusk Till Dawn (Blu-Ray): Selma Hayek dancing in a provocative fashion with a snake across the shoulders in Blu-Ray. You don't have to tell me twice - dirty old man-o-meter is rocking a 10.
Smiles of a Summer Night (Criterion Blu-Ray): This would seem like a pretentious piece of bore if it weren't for the unstoppable dual force of Ingmar Bergman and Criterion.
Well ladies and gents that's all for this week. Happy hunting!