Friday, April 22, 2011

Obligatory Weekend Movie Post 4/22/2011

I apologize for this being a bit late, but in the mountains and a lack of internet have left me with little option.

Wide Releases:

Water for Elephants: Ouch. I know Reese Witherspoon has for all intensive purposes disappeared into a black hole of absolute drivel, but to call her an elephant? Seems a bit harsh. Then again, when you cheat on Christoph Waltz for Robert Pattinson, you get what you deserve. I don't care how bad Waltz is, he can't be that bad. Unless of course he smells, but you're more into smellers. Oh, such a sad world.

Madea's Big Happy Family: Simply put - the only reason I would ever watch this is if you paid me. Beyond that, I have about as much interest in this as I have in watching David Hasselhoff talk about how close he is with his daughter.

African Cats: Because Disney has a *@(!load of money to kill and nothing better to spend it on.

Limited Releases: Hey look, it's that guy again who did all those 30 days things a while back for that show which was based on his movie! He's doing something else! Yay! Now put on some damn pants. However, it is nice to watch Hollywood finally take some heat for their incessant product placement. I don't mind you driving an audi - just don't feel the need to zoom in and slow motion past the logo every time the car takes a turn!

Incendies: After Mad's massive praise for this film, it ranks numero uno on my 'too watch' list. If it is in my neck of the woods, NC-Wise, then I'll be sure to track it down pronto.

Other Limited Releases - Stake Land, When Harry Tries to Marry, and The Legend of the Fist: The Return of Chen Zhen

There you have it folks. Watch, enjoy, review, and be sure to have a great weekend!

7 better thoughts:

Castor said...

Weak week of release, Rio should easily hold on to the top of the box office. I have no interest in seeing any of those movies, except Incendies which will probably not make it to my corner of the world anyways.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

My wife wants to see the cats movie. I'm hoping I can squash that desire.

Rich said...

Not a Morgan Spurlock fan I take it. I could see that one this weekend, but I'm gonna wait a month till it plays the art house theater near me; it's cheaper that way.

Andy Buckle said...

I saw Incendies a couple of days ago in Sydney. It's very good! Check out my review:

http://buckle22.blogspot.com/2011/04/new-release-review-incendies-denis.html

Simon said...

Okay. I've seen some Robert Pattinson interviews. He seems not-suckish. He likes Pierrot le fou. I'm loathe to say I like him, but I don't hate him. Which is why I'm in the perfect position to say that the grand majority of his movies suck. So he should start doing ones that don't suck. Like, now.

Reese Witherspoon annoys me. I just don't get how two guys would go to literal war for the opportunity to date her. And that's all she ever does now, is love triangle movies. That one with Jack Nicholsan, this thing, that new one with Tom Hardy.

Univarn said...

@Castor If Rio doesn't - it could mean that 2011 will be The Year of the Half-Busters, especially if you consider the massive amount of congestion facing this year's major releases.

@AlexJ You should show up to the theater in full cat attire - tell her its your way of getting 'pumped up'

@Rich Good call - In general I think that's a good call for most limited releases. While I love many of 'em and often find them a solid alternative, if they're being released this time of the year it's because their backers think they have little contention value. That doesn't mean it's a law, but a general rule of thumb (of course movies like Hurt Locker and Zodiac help prove backers don't always know what they have).

@Andy Will be sure to check out your review soon!

@Simon Traitor! Heretic! Begone!

Simon said...

YOU BEGONE!

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