Friday, April 1, 2011

Obligatory Weekend Movie Post 4/1/2011

You know what today is? It's the much beloved "Hey ignoramus, there should be an apostrophe after 'Fools'" day! My favorite day of the year. I get to frolic about the office loudly judging and insulting all those who would dare forget that apostrophe. Why? Because I'm just better than everyone else. Fact.

*sits and waits for comments to roll in on all the grammatical mistakes in that opening prose*

Wide Releases:

Source Code: You have eight minutes to perform the same act over and over again. If you fail, the whole world will suffer. If you succeed, chickens will invade your mind and you'll miss your opportunity to nail Michelle Monaghan... and that would be the greater shame. Quick question, any chance of her donning the Mrs. Clause attire once more from Kiss Kiss Bang Bang? A guy can dream.... can't he? However with my luck it'd likely turn out that Gyllenhaal is wearing it, and I would be forever scarred.

Insidious: Wait, James Wan and Leigh Whannell... where have I heard those names before? Oh yeah! They're the guys behind that really brilliant horror film. You know, the one that redefined the way we look at horror. Gave life to a genre that was stuck on conformity and cliche. Saw? No not that one. I'm talking Dead Silence! Donnie Wahlberg 4 life. Best Wahlberg brother. It's a shame he isn't in this. If he was, I'd be half tempted to actually bother watching it. Though I'm sure the solid reviews mean it will be a worthwhile expenditure of my time if I ever do, horror just isn't my genre.

Hop: *shrug* Look at the bunny do silly things? Meh. I'd rather spend two hours watching a leprechaun tap dancing instruction video directed by Martin Scorcese and starring Alan Alda. Then again, who wouldn't prefer to spend their time that way? I'll tell you who, the same people who will go watch this just because it's a kids movie. Shame.

Limited Releases:

Super: You know the one where Ellen Page is totally playing a not-Juno Juno role with Rainn Wilson totally playing a not-Dwight Dwight role. Sucks being typecast, eh?

Cat Run: Holy crap, is that a D.L. Hughley sighting? I thought he was dead! Christopher McDonald too? This movie is full of win. Heck, I'd watch it for Paz Vega alone! Wait... oh no... oh dear god no... from the director of Into the Blue and Blue Crush *what you are not saying here is an involuntary act of gagging*. What a waste. Where's Dominic Sena when you need him? Wait, ignore that comment. This is obviously affecting my mental capabilities.

Rubber: The more I see the commercial for this, the more I think it looks like utter crap just waiting to be ate up by the cult masses.

Other Releases: In a Better World, Trust (David Schwinner tackling child abuse with Clive Owen - still trying to wrap my head around that one))


For those of you who care, The King's Speech PG-13 version is supposed to come out today to 1000 theaters. If that's your thing. Either way, enjoy your weekend!

5 better thoughts:

The Mad Hatter said...

Dude - I will stake you the admission cost to see RUBBER. It's so much fun, and actually rather clever.

As for me, I'm gonna take a break from the patriotism conversation long enough to soak up SOURCE CODE this weekend, and also to start watching some screeners the folks from Hot Docs have sent me.

Jack L said...

I'm surprised at the great reviews Source Code has been getting, the trailer made it look pretty bad. I'll definitely be seeing it now, especially since I enjoyed Moon so much.

I've had Rubber on my pc for a while now, I really should get around to watching it.

All these other films look pretty crap, although I might see Super.

Castor said...

Definitely want to check out Source Code.

Also, everyone make sure to go see Hop, a really great movie!!!!

Univarn said...

@Mad I take it the check is in the mail? :P

@JackL Yeah, I was going to wait until cheapo theaters for Source Code, but now I might just make the trek to check it out, barring any major backlash from moviegoers.

@Castor No. I refuse!

Fletch said...

Castor is just playing an April Fool's Joke on us...I keep waiting for the punchline, but it ain't coming.

Seriously, what's the deal with the PG-13 King's Speech? I heard something about that but thought people were just talking about an airline edit. That's fucking retarded and I hope it bombs wildly. Pussyfoots can wait till it's on cable if they want a PG/PG-13 rated version. Christ, I hate people.

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