The Director of THE ONE I LOVE Returns With a New Dystopian Love Story Coming Soon to Netflix - If you're like me, you've been feening for a new film from Charlie McDowell, who directed the out-of-nowhere amazing *The One I Love*, for what seems li...
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 (Friday): It's hard out there for a pimp. Or so Terrence Howard says. Or was it Don Cheadle? Oh they look so much alike, I'm always confusing the two! It's like their twins... oh Hollywood, you lovely devil you. But Uni, you might be asking (or you've just gone ahead and said *screw it* and have scrolled down to the comments) "what does being a pimp have to do with Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows?" Answer: Nothing. But I would imagine that Emma Watson spends a considerable amount of time paying people to bugger off and stop fantasizing about her, which for the sake of argument I'll just say is the same thing. Besides, we all know the true pimp of the Harry Potter series: Dobby. That's right, you may think he's a lovable house elf, but in those back alley streets he's pulling Wayne Brady's left and right (is that reference too outdated? You know, I don't care). Oh, HPatDHP1 you complete me. Well, half of me because you're only half a movie.
Country Strong: Because deep down everybody knows the best way to overcome alcoholism and depression is a series of lame country ballads sung by Gwyneth Paltrow. Wait, sorry, read my card wrong. That should read "the quickest way to begin alcoholism and depression." Oh silly me, I get those things mixed up all the time. On the plus side I'm on my fifteenth drink already which comes with five complimentary "woooooos." Which reminds me, when did it become acceptable for people to express their joy for drinking and standing around nodding their head by screaming grubbily gook? Is a little bit of diction too much to ask for!? "Why thank you kind sir for inquiring about my mood this fine evening. At the moment I'm enjoying a lovely beverage in this wondrous home with many of my fellow colleagues. Oh and look, that woman has just doffed off all her clothes. How trite."
Marwencol: Because you're worth it. Take that shampoo pushers!
White Material: Well well, look at you, slow moody indie film that makes all the supreme cinematic supremacists drool. Don't you know it was so five years ago to have a disjunctive narrative about a bunch of uninteresting characters trapped in a desolate existence. Yeah, I'm looking at you Crash! Well, monsieur White Material have your little game of baby Hotel Rwanda, I'm sticking with the big boys this week.
Other Releases: Heartless (try surgery), Summer in Genoa (moody Colin Firth for the win?), Farewell (but we hardly knew each other), and Black Heaven (because even you weren't aware of your existence)
The Incredibles and Cars (Blu-Ray): Why are they grouped together? Because they're both Pixar and I'm not going to give them credit for double releasing blu-rays of movies they've already made. That being said, Incredibles is almost an all time great and Cars is solid entertainment that doesn't require much thought.
Tracy and Hepburn the Definitive Collection: Seven Spencer Tracy and Katharine Hepburn movies in one package - I don't think this is a tough sell at fifty bucks. Not in the least.
Well folks that's all I've got you for you this week. Enjoy yourself and, as always, happy DVD hunting!