[3.50/10] The Chamber (2017) - *The Chamber (2017)* *Quick Review:* Funnily, this cheap underwater flick self-proclaims itself as 'a claustrophobic survival thriller', which it certainl...
Friday, March 18, 2011
A dude triple royal. However, only one of them can win. Assuming of course anyone cares enough about any of them to bother.
Limitless: No red pill/blue pill? No sunglasses? No rabbit hole? This is some BS. Since The Matrix it is an established rule of cinema science that you're not allowed to have pills without intermittently splicing in some pseudo-philosophical hubjub! If Bradley Cooper doesn't get into a fight with robots at some point, this movie will be a total failure. Universal truth. You can't deny it. By the way, Robert DeNiro playing second fiddle to Cooper? Have I fallen into some sort of portal? First half dollar man, now this... man RDN, you've changed.
The Lincoln Lawyer: 82%. I am not lying to you. That is this movie's RT score (as of 9:40 eastern 3/17). Wow. If you had asked me three months ago, I would have written a book on why this movie will suck on a level beyond compare. How could I have doubted the double dude power of McCauckangakjdwiawyi (close enough) and Phillippe? It's like the poor man's Gere-Norton. Wait, if that's true, does that mean Marisa Tomei is just another Laura Linney? If that holds then William H. Macy is totally Andre Braugher. OK, I'm sorry. This is getting way too complicated. Besides, I'm not even going to begin to guess who is the priest.
Paul: You know, a few years ago I met an alien in the desert. Was a very eye opening experience. He told me all the secrets of the universe, how to make the perfect cake, and where to move in case of an invasion by killer spider-monkeys. Very exciting stuff. However, as you are aware, this sort of information doesn't come cheap. Therefore if I tell you, I am forced to turn you into a pig-kangaroo from Neptune. Sorry. Oh yeah, by the way - Pegg + Frost = yay!
Win Win: Paul Giamatti - you complete me. Or you would, if I needed completion.
The Butcher, the Chef and the Swordsman: 2011 - the year of awesome limited release titles.
The Music Never Stopped: You had me at J.K. Simmons
Winter in Wartime: Hey, MOM! Timmy got his winter in my wartime!!!! *cries* Lame. Still, this looks interesting.
Other Releases: Cracks, and Bill Cunningham New York
Sorry about the delay. As of late, Blogger seems to randomly kick some of my blog posts to draft at the pre-scheduled post time. Annoying, but nothing I can do about it.