DEAR LADIES AND GENTLEMEN: PLEASE REMAIN INDOORS! DO NOT LEAVE YOUR HOUSE! THERE ARE MONSTERS AT YOUR LOCAL THEATERS AND THEY DON'T LIKE YOU!
Sincerely yours,
The Univarn Crap-Film Releases for non-Big Cities Weekend Awareness Committee.
Wide Releases:
The Warrior's Way: Is apparently one hell of a long path. Filming for this movie was completed two, almost three, years ago and it's just now getting a release. Now don't go and mistake it for something like Avatar that's intended to push graphic capabilities to the extreme. This film just couldn't get love from anybody for a release. The commercial did make it look like a visually impressive tale, but the moment any of the actors opened their mouths I could feel a void materializing in the room. Of course that doesn't stop Geoffrey Rush and Danny Huston from showing up and completing destroying my mind's capability to process this one.
Oh, and yeah, it's the only full on wide release this weekend. So I raise a glass, a coma for the weekend so that Tron Legacy may come swiftly.
Limited Releases:
Black Swan: Natalie! You're breaking my heart. Why aren't you bringing your film to NC this weekend? I wanted to show you and Aronofsky how much I love you. I had a special shirt made just for the occasion. You see, it says "Mathilda 4 life!" on the back it has a picture of a bunch of grenade pins. Don't you understand how much I care? *cries* It's just not fair.
All Good Things: End violently and get turned into a movie? How about I say no thanks? I will give props to Ryan Gosling who has done everything short of parting a sea to shed his Notebook image, but this just looks awful. Kirsten Dunst is kicking the 'oh yeah, her' persona into overdrive, but it looks like she has a lot of films lined up for 2011. Hoping for her sake at least one ends up a winner.
I Love You Phillip Morris: Jim Carrey & Ewan McGregor and Annette Bening & Julianne Moore both in one year? HELL YEAH! Alright I'm thinking, MTV Movie Awards I'll let you in on this one, we need a gay off. Put JC/EM and AB/JM in the ring and have a tag-team death match for the most awesome unexpected on screen gay couple of 2010. I'm putting my money down on AB/JM, how about you?
Night Catches Us: Many, myself included, were championing an Anthony Mackie Oscar nomination for his turn in The Hurt Locker, which never came. This film might help garner some more recognition for the actor whose done a good job in some mediocre movies (We Are Marshall/She Hate Me) and under-recognized work in more respected movies (Million Dollar Baby). Here's to hoping this one doesn't become the bomb many expect it will be.
Other Releases: Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (NY) & Meskada (LA/NY)
To my fellow North Carolinians 127 Hours is coming our way this week at The Rialto I'll be doing everything in my power to find a way to see it, but I may have to hold off a week.
10 better thoughts:
yea, nothing this weekend... I will try to check 127 Hours today or tomorrow morning!
Off to The King's Speech tonight, Black Swan tomorrow, All Good Things Sunday (even though it's supposed to suck) and hopefully squeezing Phillip Morris somewhere in there. Big weekend in NYC on the menu.
Aw I'm sorry you won't be getting Black Swan yet! I didn't realize it was a limited release. Have fun in your coma! I'll be seeing that and possibly Faster and Claire Denis' new film White Material.
@Castor Awesome, I'm not sure when I'll get a chance to see it. Really hoping for this weekend, but no promises.
@Aiden R. I hate you big city people with your big city ways! Us simple southern folks got just sits by and wait :P
@Alex Limited Releases suck quite loudly. Haven't heard of White Material, however I have heard of Faster and almost everything coming back from it is negative (I recommend checking out gmanreviews.com post on it)
Awesome things playing nowhere near me: Black Swan, I Love You Philip Morris, Warrior's Way (I don't care how ridiculous it looks, Geoffrey Rush says "Ninjas...damn" in the trailer and that invalidates everything)
Had hopes for Warrior's Way, but the lack of any reviews until this morning (and so far, they are bad) have forced me to seek other entertainment tonight. (We're putting up our tree - now doesn't that sound exciting?)
I've been waiting a year for Black Swan. A FUCKING YEAR. This is like if Inception got a last-minute limited release in LA and NYC only. Except worse, because it has mutant ballerinas like some weirdass Suspiria/Repulsion/Red Shoes stew, which it TOTALLY IS.
Damn the studios. Damn them to the bloody hell from whinst they came.
Meanwhile, Kate Boseworth should shut the fuck up.
@Sugary Don't go for it just because of that! You'll become a lackey to Hollywood! Hollywood will own you, dress you in designer clothes, make you watch sex and the city, and discuss Heigl films! That's the dark path you go down if you follow a film just because of a line in a trailer. There's no way back!
@AlexJ Yeah, not screening a film for critics is a bad sign about 90% of the time.
@Simon You seem a bit extra grumpy this evening. Should I offer you a cookie? Or perhaps some egg nog?
YOU CAN OFFER ME SOME DAMN BLACK SWAN IN WHAT YOU CAN OFFER ME.
Though if your handing out cookies, I'm hardly in any position to refuse.
I am excited to watch Black Swan..
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