Friday, November 26, 2010

Obligatory Weekend Movie Post 11/25/2010

Yeah yeah I know, you released your movies on Wednesday, well I'm here to tell you NAY NAY! Your efforts to subvert my blog by pandering to the student film goer ends here! I shall stand alone, fighting you to death if necessary, for the greater good of all film kind!


....anyone?..... hello?.... KHANNNNNNNNNNN!

still not there? Damn...

Wide Releases:

Tangled: With hair like that? I hearz yah giiiiiiiiirlfriend!  I betz ye gots 2 git constent currrr.

There, now my blog is more hip. Easy as counting to three. Unfortunately after having written the above I forgot how to count to three. It is true that the more you try and type in 'txt' language you lose braincells at catastrophic speeds. The sound barrier seems negligible by comparison.

However, this movie does appear to be the one Disney film (proper Disney, I don't count Pixar films as a Disney film - sorry) I could see myself getting into this year. If nothing else I can say this may be the first year in a long time where the Best Animated Film Category will be more stacked than the Best Picture category.

Faster: FASTER! FASTER! HARDER! HARDER! I'M ALMOST THERE! - the sounds of the entire male audience

To be honest there's a great collection of sexual euphemisms that can be derived from this film. Which I believe begs the question: Over/Under - 5 years before The Rock becomes completely irrelevant?

Love and Other Drugs: You know what I had absolutely NO idea Edward Zwick, one of my all time favorite directors, directed this! Where was that in the commercials? Did he disappear into a cupboard half way through or something? Bad form marketing, bad form (yes that's a Hook reference, deal with it!). As for the film itself, generic oozes from every orifice it possesses, and I'm not about to dispute that. Anne and Jake may make for a cute couple, that doesn't make this a good film. I'm sure it won't be horrid, just not something to sprint for the doors for.

Burlesque: A lot of people are telling me their excited for this movie. I will be honestly and say I'm secretly judging each and every one of you. It's not that you're not allowed to like, want to watch, or enjoy this movie. Instead I fully believe that spending the two hours I would be spending watching this film testing the strength of my wallpaper through the power of telekinesis would equate to the same feeling afterwords. An utter lack of self respect, followed by a desire to regain the prior two hours. I know that's not for everyone, that's just me. Of course it doesn't help that I can never make it through 1 Cher song, let alone possess the endurance required to watch an entire film starring her.

Limited Release:

The King's Speech: IT'S HERE! IT'S FINALLY HERE!!!! Wait, it's not here? Four Theaters? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *cries* I've waited through an R rating and a God Awful poster for this! I've earned it Weinsteins, now deliver. I demand it! I'll just wait here, you call me when it's time for me to see it and I'll be there. Perhaps I could start begging for a screening pass? PLEASE!!!!

Alright ladies and gents, that's all I've got for you now. Hope you enjoy your weekend viewing, and I'll see you all on the beach... I'm mean blogosphere (too many references?)

8 better thoughts:

Lesya Khyzhnyak said...

I can't even express how much I'd like to see The King's Speech. Probably, it'll be available in my country in a year *sigh*

Castor said...

I sort of want to see Faster, the other ones are meh...

SugaryCynic said...

I'm down for Faster and The King's Speech, the latter of which will probably never touch my local theater :(

Points for the Hook reference!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I would've guessed the Rock would be irrelevant years ago!!
Tangled was great - you'll enjoy it.

TheAnswerMVP2001 said...

A little obligatory stereotypical dialog thrown in today's post, eh? If that's actually in the film I think the ACLU would be all over Disney.

Simon said...

I saw Burlesque for some reason. God help me.

amy said...

Sorry, I can't resist Jakey on screen - I even saw Prince of Persia. xD

Univarn said...

@Leysa Hopefully it makes it there sooner, otherwise you may need to resort to nefarious means.

@Castor You are losing your grip my young padawan!

@Sugary There will always be points for Hook references on LiE!

@AlexJ In some ways he is. How many people even remember Tooth Fairy? And that was this year.

@MVP We also enjoy a little bit of obligatory stereotypical dialog :)

@Simon Because we can't.

@Amy You can resist! You must! The entire world lays in the balance!

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