So ladies and gentlemen, I must ask once more that you traverse these ramblings, these frail wailings of a sardonic soul, as I endeavor to mock cinema as we know it. No cozening lay here. Only subversion of the lowest order.
There, all my big, fancy, words packed together. How do you like that? Now, let's get back to ninja leprechauns!
Red: I love Spike Jonze, but his film Being John Malkovich has forever harmed in a manner I can't describe. Every time I watch Malkovich act, I find myself wandering - is John Cusack in there? Let's be honest, it's not fair for JM, he's generally great (we'll ignore Eragon - I think we'd all like it better that way). Of course, when you combine him with Bruce Willis (shiny head!), Morgan Freeman (immortal), and Helen Mirren (cougar anyone?), I find myself struggling to digest my anticipation. If only I had the time, I would most definitely give this a proper viewing.
Jackass 3D: I feel the need to make a request. You see Dylan (aka Fletch) does a post series I'm sure many of you are familiar with, the TGITDNMAR (Thank God It's The Day New Movies Are Released). At the end of each movie writeup he applies a percentage to each film, representing the likelihood of him seeking out that film in theater. My request is two-fold, in that a) I'd like to request the right to "borrow" that structure for a moment; and b) ask is it theoretically (we all know not mathematically) possible to have a negative percentage for a film? I hold nothing against those who enjoy the Jackass films, I know they're well loved in their own way. I'd just like to say, not only am I not one of those, but they feature highly among the handful of films I've turned off because I honestly couldn't desire any less to spend more time with them.
Chances of Me Viewing: -100%
Conviction: I've heard Sam Rockwell gives a great performance here, and after the 2009 Moon disregard by those of the Academy, I'll gladly champion him again for a nomination. Especially if his performance here is even 1/10th as good as that (though the commercials lead me to believe it will be that, and more). I'm also excited for the supporting cast of Minnie Driver, Melissa Leo, Peter Gallagher, and Juliette Lewis. Hilary Swank is a solid lead, so, where do I sign the petition to get this brought on down to NC sometime soon?
I Want Your Money: Tea Party makes a film contrasting Ronald Reagan with Barack Obama from the director of Super Capers (yeah, I've never heard of it either). If this is what you want to see, have at it. Though, I fear, all it will really do is reinforce whatever viewpoint you already have; regardless of whether you're pro-Tea Party, anti, or neutral. Which, I believe, makes the movie pretty much pointless. Then again, what do I know? I'm one of those damned moderates.
Down Terrace: I can't honesty say I've heard a single thing about this comedy from our overseas neighbor, about a family of crooks. Looks alright, I suppose. Don't expect it to be coming my way anytime soon though.
Well, there you go. Have at it, and enjoy. Don't forget to tip your wait(man/woman) if you make a date of it. If you don't, well, then how about take the money you save and give it to a homeless person? *Shrug* Better than spending it on popcorn and getting fat, right? :P