This Post is so Cliché

TOP 5 MOVIE CLICHES I COULD LIVE WITHOUT

I'll admit, most of the time I'm willing to buy into the many clichés Hollywood enjoys falling back on. In fact, I'd go as far as saying I enjoy the odd cliché. A bit of nod to the history of cinema, while at the same time constantly looking forward towards new horizons. Still, no matter what there's some that no matter how many times I see it, always bother me.

5. You Cracked My Firewall? Perhaps it's because I majored in Computer Science, but let me say this to Hollywood writers: STOP IT ALREADY! I get you need a go to word to make your tech guy seem really, in the know, but would a quick wikipedia search be too much to ask for? Let me break it down for you: Firewall prevents unauthorized remote access. Keyword: remote. If I'm on your computer I'm hacking into your security/password, not getting past your Firewall. What's worse is that writers will throw out the most random words just to make it seem techish (the movie Firewall is the worst example of this - 50% of the tech talk made 0 sense). Trust me computer people would love to correct you, hit up a forum, they'll tell you how to say what you really mean. Oh, and just for the record, can you crack tech wizard at least be 18? The whole wonder geek kid, really isn't as funny as you expect it to be.

4. Doctor, It's All Our Fault! I get there's a solid narrative to be had from the classic scientists going to far angle, but to be honest I no longer care. The angle's become so played out, so dragged on, so analyzed it's become a playground for anti-science rambling. Filled with character analysis in which all scientists are wackos, or soon will be, and it's up to those who reject science to fight back (or in most cases escape from whatever creature they've created). Sure, there's an argument to be made for science to be kept in check, but where's the argument for writer's to be kept in check? How many times can you tell the same story, even with the minor demented twists thrown in, before people start to ignore the message?

3. Wait Just One Moment, I Wrote Down My Speech Somewhere! Sure, villain monologues have given us some of the most memorable scenes in history. But there's no quicker way to get my eyes rolling, and interest flailing than having our villain take a 5 minute detour just to ramble on about their cause, or lack there of. I get it, he's the villain. You've sold me on this for 2+ hours, I don't need a dragged out scene to bring it all together. What's worse is when they suddenly, after such a long time, try to throw a moral spin on the villain. Give him a subtle, hey, maybe there's more too him than meets the eye. No thanks, he killed a group of people, he's just a bad guy. Not secretly a protector of the social cause, or deep psychotherapist out to prove a point. I don't buy it.

2. I Killed You Once, Twice, Three Times Cause You're a Bad Guy! Ok Horror fans I'm sorry but these final two are for you. First off, what's with this love for having the main slasher be killed at the end, but not really killed. Killed as in, maybe dead, but could be brought back for another film if need be. At some point the slasher is simply going to run out of body parts. And the twists sometimes used to bring it all together for the next film... worse than need be described. Sometimes a villain that is destroyable is a good thing. Adds a sense of emotional connection to our prey, if you will. Especially when all this leads to is the same film over and over again (let's be honest most of us could predict each Friday the 13th movie by heart).

1. Wow, My Reflection in this Mirror Sucks! If I had to pick one thing movies do more often that consistently hits my annoyance button, it's the mirror sight gag. You know how it goes. Main character looks at mirror, all fine. Look away, camera follows. Come back to mirror, OMG something's behind the character! Perhaps what annoys me most about this is so few films use it to their advantage. Almost as if there's an unspoken obligation to use the cliché once a mirror is introduced, and that any effort to play off audience's expectations of it is somehow a grave cinematic sin. Play off it! Have, *gasp*, nothing be there! Dun Dun Dunnnnnnn. Sure, you may not gain as much scare, but it sets up the scene for later. If you do it everytime, especially multiple times in the same film, there's no impact. It's not scary, and you've failed your own mission.


Now, are all of these really that bad? No, probably not. But they're the ones that most often get under my skin. Not so much for their incredible overuse, but for the fact that everytime they're used they offer less and less. Where now most of these are at the point that unless it's your first time dealing with it, you gain nothing out of it. There's other clichés prime for the picking that do exactly what you want, so why not try them? Trust me, we'll all be better off for it!