4th of July Dreams

If you don't own a calendar I'm sorry to tell you it's not the year 2075, and evil aliens have not taken over the planet. For those who do own a calendar I'm pleased to tell you today is the 4th of July! Also known as the day Americans declared their independence... or close enough. To celebrate this momentous occasion I'd like to take the time to share with you some of my favorite film dreams.

• Make a film starting with And they live happily ever after then show what happens after that.


• To write a screenplay in code, then make a documentary about studio executives trying to crack the code


• Become the first actor in history to start on the Sci-Fi channel and then become famous


• Do a documentary on the painful process of newspaper, and website, writers to create those horrible headline puns.


• Create a mockumentary on the creation of a documentary about how do mockumentaries. Title it The Self-Reflexive Dream.


• Make the world's greatest film... straight to DVD


• Write a World War 2 epic... from the point of view of Chile.


• Create a sequel and prequel to a non-existent intermediary film.


• Bring together the greatest cast ever assembled, and make a King Kong musical


• Make a film about time travel, have no actual characters travel through time


• Lastly, create a film about the end of the world. Release it to the theater on the day the world actually ends. Perform analysis, and see how close I was to being right.

Are these silly, unnecessary, and without any real meaning? Of course they are, and that's why they are Uni approved! Happy Independence Day my fellow Americans. And to the Canadians, happy belated Independence Day!

Oh, and don't forget: two cups of tea, one pound of crystal meth, and a siamese chicken. Don't argue with it, just deliver!