Friday, January 22, 2010

Obligatory Weekend Movie Post #17

Evil Angels, Tooth Fairy, and Monkeys! No, unfortunately, that's not the plot of the porn film I'm currently writing (or is it?)... it's the main subject of some of this weekends best films. Though did you know that today is OMG PAUL BETTANY DAY!? I didn't know either! The guy's got two films opening up this weekend. Quality? Who cares about quality? You've got Paul Mother F****** Bettany!

Wide Releases:

Legion: Paul Bettany walking around without a shirt, with giant wings, and giant guns... someone's been reading my Christmas wish list! I'm banking on Legion being so incredibly awful it's actually one of the best films I've seen in a while! Not screened for critics: sign #1 a movie isn't that good.

Tooth Fairy: Not to be confused with the horror film of (roughly) the same name. One is a horror filled campy film and the other is the original Tooth Fairy :). By the way is today wings day? Bull**** Rock, back off my Paul Bettany day! That's right I'm calling you out! By the way, how the hell did Billy Crystal and Julie Andrews get sucked into this? Is the world slowly ending?

Extraordinary Measures: One man will go the distance to find acting skills. One man will go to the end trying to turn the clock back 20 years. Together they will find Keri Russell is the only reason to see this movie. A Hallmark television event. Wait, what? It's not a made for TV movie? It's a real theater movie!? Son of a *****!

Limited Releases:

Creation: Paul Bettany as Charles Darwin... when I heard this I nearly wet myself with excitement. Then the movie got pushed back about a hundred times, and was dumped in the middle of January. I was so heartbroken I could barely stand it! Jennifer Connolly is in it too! Come on! With the writer of Master and Commander! How could this suck so bad it warrants this? *cries* I can't take it anymore!

To Save a Life: Fox Faith presents, a movie that'll make you cry, it'll make you cheer, it'll remind you to watch Fox News on every occasion... of course not while you're at church (go for it baby!). Why people watch these religious guilt trips is beyond me. If you want to be religious how about instead of watching a movie of cheesy religious talk, you just go ahead and invest in a Bible, and read it!? I know, novel ideas are everywhere :).

Okie dokie, that's enough of that. There are some other limited releases, but who cares? It's all about Paul Bettany baby! Let's go go go!

4 better thoughts:

Andrew: Encore Entertainment said...

Tis a pity about Creation, I'm sure it could have at least been passable.

Castor said...

I actually had a free screening on Thursday night for Legion. I did not even attend, it looks heinous.

DEZMOND said...

I think we had the same Christmas wish about Paul Bettany :)) Hope his Legions will conquer cinemas this week, if people put aside their cynicism and take this movie lightly not seriously.

TJMAC510 said...

Legion= suck (see my review for conformation)

Tooth Fairy= Abomination (review sadly to come)

Extraordinary Measures= Better than I thought. I totally wrote it off as a dull Lifetime movie that you paid 9 dollars for but it was actually interesting and decent enough to warrant a watch and probably recommend

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