Friday, January 15, 2010

Obligatory Weekend Movie Post #16

CAN YOU FEEL THE BLOG TONIGHT! What? What does that have to do anything? It's not even nighttime! Shhhhhh. Just let it happen baby. Baby? What baby. Shhhhhhhhhhhhh. But. Shhh. I just. Shhh. Oh son of a. Shhhhhhhhhh! This is just getting weird. I agree. Who are you? You. Huh? That's what you said. Oh hell.

Dear person writing this crap: stop. Who, me? Who are you? You two? Oh crap, not again!

Moving on!

Wide Releases:

The Book of Eli: You know it's about damn time someone made a post apocolyptic thriller about the need for literacy. I'm just highly anticipating that big sequel: The Color Book of Eli. It'll star Julie Andrews as a super assassin traveling the world sent on a mission from Crayola to deliver this book to the children of Los Angeles. Does it make sense? Nope. Do you care? That's what I thought!

The Spy Next Door: This movie has Billy Ray Cyrus in it.... I wish I had a punch line, a funny remark, or a witty comment for it, but I don't. This movie stars Billy mother ******* Cyrus. They might as well have had it star Alvin and the Chipmunks with a special cameo from a dying Walrus. It'd get the same dang effect. Honestly though this movie depresses me. Jackie Chan's career has become a shell of its former, fun, self... and I feel saddened by that.

Limited Releases:

Fish Tank: I thought we already had a movie about this... wasn't it called Finding Nemo!? That's right Fish Tank I'm calling you out! Stop trying to steal the tanks of those helpless fish and give someone else a shot, will you! Unite my followers unite!..... Ok I'm not that grumpy. I'm more grumpy that it's just opening in NYC and not here in NC, and that's wrong. So IFC you can make it up to me by sending me a free screener copy. Thank you.


The Lovely Bones: I find it shocking they're still going to expand this since they've all but abandoned any hope of this getting its money back. It may end up being the biggest money loser of the year. Which is a shame, because I love Peter Jackson. Then again my review for it will be up tomorrow, so we'll see.

So that's it. No more. Remember to tip your horses and ride your waitresses safely home.... wait a second, I think I got that backwards.

Oh well!

1 better thoughts:

filmgeek said...

Fish Tank got a tiny release in the UK too. I saw it a long time after its release at my local film festival about an hour from home. Two months later it has now been screened in my home town. Bloody distribution

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