Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Obligatory Weekend Movie Post #11... Already!?

BUT BUT BUT RYAN, IT'S NOT THE WEEKEND, I DON'T UNDERSTAND!!!!

Calm down, it's ok, let me explain. Hollywood has nothing good coming out, so instead they plan to release the movies early hoping to catch people (husbands) trying to avoid the kitchen on today, Wednesday! Does that make sense? No, well nobody goes to watch movies this weekend anyways (except for Twilight fans apparently).

Weekend(ish) Releases:

Ninja Assassin: Yo dawg I was like, yo I need me sum action cuz dis twilight shit is wack! hmmm... ok, so that isn't exactly what people who want to see this are saying, that's just what I hear. Actually I really like James McTeigue, his first outing in the form of V for Vendetta was among my favorites of the year. Though this time it looks like he's stuck with a much weaker plot, and weaker visual effects. I fear this one may be getting calls from the bomb squad.

Old Dogs: Can't learn new tricks. I wonder if this title is about the movie or Disney? How many times can Disney rehash the same story/jokes/characters... of course Wild Hogs proved that number is somewhere around infinity if you can attach to the middle aged male crowd. Oh, and by the way, Robin Williams is 58 and John Travolta is 55... they're past middle age. And I believe a bit old for the, by the way you have two pre-teen children gag. Come on Hollywood, at least aim for the mid 40s, maximum!

Me and Orson Welles: Tentatively titled, me and apparently nobody else cares. Giving the 4 theater, we just want DVD, dump release, has there been less buzz about this movie? Granted I'm game for anything with Orson Welles in the title :).

The Princess and the Frog: While most people are excited about this being Disney's first "black" princess, I'm wondering why does this represent great social change? Where were the calls of social equality finally coming through, way back when Aladdin came out, and Jasmine, an arab princess (far more controversial) was chosen? Oh that's right there weren't any... there's no shame in social equality, but let's not make a big deal out of something nobody honestly cares about.

The Private Lives of Pippa Lee: Lives? Is she a cat? Can she hop out of a tree and only lose one? How high does she have to fall before one bites the dust!? Man, so much anxiety and decisions to be made!!! Quick, someone hire a writer to write a book explaining the title they wrote about! Or, not... that made no sense, and I apologize to my reader(s).

The Road: Soon to be followed by its sequel: The Interstate. Dun Dun dunnnnnn. Well it's safe to say this adaptation of the Cormac McCarthy novel has generated some mixed opinions... then again, could the movie work otherwise? I vote not (though I do have to say the marketing for this movie reminds me a lot of the marketing for Children of Men).

As a side note The Fantastic Mr. Fox goes wide release this weekend, so you also have that option if none of the above inspire you.

Granted if that's the case then have no fear, you're perfectly fine, it's a classic dump weekend as everyone gears up for their Christmas push!

3 better thoughts:

TheAnswerMVP2001 said...

I will be taking my 4 day weekend and using it to catch up on some needed sleep that I have missed out on over the last week & a half.

So in case I don't see you, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!

Zach said...

I still have faith in The Road.

Alfindeol said...

You should be in Korea for Ninja Assassin... Rain is the biggest thing here since Kimchi. It's nuts.

Related Posts with Thumbnails