Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Obligatory November 24, 2009

It's Tuesday, and you know what that means! CELEBRATE YOUR UNIQUE TALENT DAY!!!!! Wow... talk about an uneventful name. Granted I don't have a unique talent *cries*. Then again I have you all to love and care for me... hey were are you going!? Come back!!!!! Oh, there you are, note to self: don't get on an escalator while talking to people. So, yeah, about those movies, here we go:

New Releases:

Angels and Demons: and lollipops and gumdrops and chicken and flipper and steak. Oh I though we were just mentioning things. This is a movie? Hmmm, sounds more like a book. Oh wait it was a book! *grabs glasses and smoking pipe* Well sir I do say the book was infinitely greater than this film. It had more texture, substance, and pages.... You know what's good about the movie? TOM HANKS! Was he in your book? No? Oh, so guess what? Movie > Book! It's just math, all things are better with Tom Hanks. A Tom Hanks and Morgan Freeman movie though... would defy all math (yes Hollywood I'm still waiting)!

Funny People: When I first read the cast list for this I thought to myself, but why Adam Sandler, he's not... oh wait, nevermind. Then after seeing it I thought, where's my cupcakes. So you know you never know how a movie will hit you, it's all relative people! Oh, if you want to read my review you can here.

Imagine That: I'd rather not... to be honest I wish there was some sort of medication that would wipe away my memory of Eddie Murphy's films for the past 5 years. He needs to go back to doing adult comedy films, he's better there. Whoever lead him to believe family films were his bread and butter should be fired, re-hired, and fired again.

The Maiden Heist: A movie starring Morgan Freeman, Christopher Walken, and William H. Macy couldn't get a theatrical release!? Man this movie must reeeeeeally suck. A blind monkey could sell that movie to the public on name power alone! Of course it does have the anti-good film jinx in Breckin Meyer. Meyer we shall never forgive you for Garfield, NEVER!

Gomorrah: Whew, sounds bad, any medication for it? What are the symptoms? Diarrhea, heartburn, maybe some sort of rash? Oh, it's a movie? Oh, wow, that sounds a bit harsh and depressing... Perhaps it shall be watchable after all. :)

Four Christmases: Really? That many? Is it sad that we were begging them for only one 5 minutes into the film? How is it this movie made $120million while (500) Days of Summer only made $32million!? Way to fail film going public, way to fail!

Other Releases: Shorts, Santa Buddies, Three Monkeys, The Rebirth, Toi&Moi

Blu-Ray Goodies:

Frailty: We all knew prior to this film that Bill Paxton was an acting genius full deserving of countless Oscars. Frailty only took that to the next level showing us his depth as an actor... ok so I kid, but this movie is great, and way too few saw it. So you should check it out if you haven't already!

Way of the Gun: Well since a gun can only point straight, that's its way. Roll credits, mystery solved, crisis averted, go team!

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs: A film so long and epic it needed TWO DVDs to jam pack it all in!!!! WAHOO! Ok, so not really, but let's be honest nobody has made more money by not selling products than Disney. They have more "limited time editions" than any company on the planet, face it people, we're being scammed!!

What's this? The end? No loud music or thunderous applause? Maybe a clap or two? Nothing? What do I do now? Go? Go where? Out there!? But... but it's scary out there and I don't know what might happen to me!! OK OK OK, fine I'll go already, you don't have to be such a jerk about it... hehe.

The End.

Or is it!?

1 better thoughts:

Alfindeol said...

Showing some love for Frailty... I like!

Related Posts with Thumbnails