Friday, October 23, 2009

Obligatory Weekend Movie Post #6

Want to know what to watch this weekend? Want insightful, productive commentary on each of the films being released? Well... then you're most definitely at the wrong blog! While I'm sure I'll do my usual reviews at some point for each of these films the releases are begging to made fun of, and as such I shall oblige!

Wide Releases:

A trying and heroing tale of one of the great women in aviation! No? A generic critic despised biopic that performs a countdown to her death with called in performances from the supporting cast? What the hell kind of tribute is that? She's the **** Mother of aviation! Get it together hollywood, this film had $$$ and Oscars written all over it, and you blew it.

A japanese robot legendary manga character comes to America.... name one instance where something manga has made a good transition to the US cinema. Ladies and gentlemen exhibit A-Z: Dragonball Evolution. Just let it go, it's not going to work! Oh, and by the way, whoever put the machine gun in the child robots rear... sick, sick man.

Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant:
Nooooo Twilight? Never heard of it! We're just trying to tell an original story for teenage audiences that just so happens to be about vampires... we would never try to piggy back on another series success, ha haha ha... crap, someone's on to us!

Saw VI:
Does anyone know why people keep flocking to these Saw movies? They haven't approached mediocrity since the first one, and they keep getting less and less interesting. Hell I could take one story and tell it over and over again just changing one detail... anyone could, maybe this time they'll actually try a new... oh I'm being told it's just the same thing again.

Limited Releases:

An indie mopey drama comedy about struggling self absorbed artists finding love?
You know what, I'll pass.. though I'm sure Goldberg and Shelton are fabulous.

I'm not sure what I'm more scared of, all the things people have told me about this movie's disturbing nature, or the fact that it'll get an oscar nomination and I'll have to sit through it.

Bak 2:
10 theaters? That's it? One of the best action movies with no plot to come along since... last week? Nah, I'd be willing to bet it's better than LAC (granted I've only seen OB2). If you can see it, see it, if you can't, question why your theater sucks and go up to the window and yell at them! FIGHT THE MAN! Don't become a slave to... oh yeah, I'm not a public speaker *crawls back in hole*.

There's other things opening up, not even mentionable... really. I wouldn't even consider it. I don't know why some people make these movies. Perhaps it's because they all want to be rich? My only guess. It's one thing to try to get hit by lightening, it's another thing entirely to try and do it while standing in the middle of a city of metal.

My recommendation: a few films worth seeing on DVD, nothing worth the movie theater expenses. Save your money.

6 better thoughts:

Lemmy Caution said...

ANTICHRIST is out and out horrible. Good idea, good acting, no script.

I will give it is truly shocking....and I don't shock easy.

Rae Kasey said...

Half of me wants to see Antichrist half-drunk so the likelihood of remembering what I see and having nightmares for months is lessened. Maybe it could even be funny!

The other half says I'll be far more likely to puke if I do it that way.

TheAnswerMVP2001 said...

I'm taking next week off from work, so I'll be checking out This Is It, I thought it was coming out this week but it's Tuesday.

Shannon the Movie Moxie said...

Aww at least you got Ong-Bak 2 and Antichrist! No luck of that in the T-dot. It's a weird week of releases.

DEZMOND said...

Actually CIRQUE Du FREAK had been in preproduction long before TWILIGHT appeared. We've been waiting for the film for more than five years now.
And judging from the trailer and the cast, I don't think it will be a teenage movie, although Josh Hutcherson is in it.

Univarn said...

@Lemmy Yeah... I've heard so much about it I'm interested by cautiously avoiding at the same time.

@Rae You go half drunk, I'll go half drunk then we'll have a whole drunk at the film ;)

@MVP A whole week off work? Enjoy it!

@Shannon I concur, one heck of a weird week. Not sure if it's a dump week or what.

@Dezmond I know, but I do this to make fun of the films :). Though I wouldn't be surprised to see this film got fasttracked once vampire films started to experience a public high.

Yeesh, not used to people commenting on these so much :)

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