Saturday, October 17, 2009

G-Force (2009)


After a botched operation, and impending budget cuts, a specially trained squad of guinea pigs must use their natural skills to stop a diabolical scheme that could destroy the world.

You know I try to not judge kids films too harshly.... I really do. Alas G-Force is a movie that just begs to be insulted. Hoyt Yeatman does the best with what he has to work with, but seems incapable of going thinking outside the box, and instead relies on fun action scenes to make up for a dreadful script. As well Yeatman benefits from having a solid cast in every scene, despite them having quite literally nothing to work with. The best thing I can say about this film, and as a family film it's all that probably matters to its parental viewers, it's not boring... Yet to any educated mind, it's the equivalent of listening to Jessica Simpson talk politics (or tuna).

The Wibberlys may just take the title for worst screenwriters of the last 10 years, each movie they put their pen to is either a monster flop, filled with plot holes, or just down right awful. G-Force is no real different. Substituting dialogue for pathetic attempts at ripping off classic film lines. Characters so paper thin they're practically invisible, and a plot so pathetic the audience cries at the thought of it. Even the awesome Bill Nighy can't save their generic caricatures, and often inspires "I can't believe that's Bill Nighy" rants from the viewer.

In fact I'd go as far as putting G-Force up for worst screenplay of the year. It's just horrible... how anyone read it and agreed to do this film is well beyond my mental comprehension. Perhaps they assumed the visuals + cute guinea pigs would make up for it? Well in my eyes, they didn't even come close. The main reason I was so excited for the action scenes is because it meant the characters wouldn't talk as much... then again this is when they're most prone to spitting out their movie steal one-liners. An example of this is mid-fight the main guinea pig actually says: "Yippee-ki-yay coffee maker"... yes someone actually wrote that line. You can hang your head in disgust, it's ok, I hope they never write again.

Despite decent visuals, ok action scenes, and good casting, G-Force can't overcome one of the year's worst scripts, from the masters of awful, The Wibberlys.

1 better thoughts:

DEZMOND said...

I was afraid to watch this movie, and still am, because somehow I expect that at least one of those hamsters talks like Chris Rock. That would be too much for my poor ticky-ticker :)

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